Berlin was cray-cray. But right now I want to focus on the sanity. I went to Mauerpark flea market the Sunday I was in Berlin. And I lost my friend for almost an hour while it was ice raining, but that is besides the point. I went into a book stand and saw a section of English books and a title that started, “The Abortion:” and finished, “An Historical Romance 1966,” caught my eye. It is by Richard Brautigan and I’ve never heard of him but as I perused the reviews I saw that he was compared to Vonnegut and that is gold to me. So I went to go pay and the very nice looking sales guy told me a bit about his life; apparently Brautigan is very famous and one of his favorite authors, and he got this book when he spent a summer in San Francisco.
Side note: I find it incredible that I meet so many people who life stories expand outside of the country they were born. Many people I have met spent summers here, years there, had really random jobs down under, and it is so casual. And then it surprises me to realize I am one of those people.
After I bought the book, he somewhat bashfully gives me a card deck lay out of post-it notes, everyone who buys a book receives a fortune. I was so excited and thought I really need to actually purchase things at markets more frequently. The writing is in German but translates to, “Don’t hide from the things of life into love. But don’t hide from love into the things of life.” I smiled and walked away trying to not forget it but of course I did and had it translated again at a coffee shop.
It reminds me of a Yeats quote or end of a poem rather, my friend recently sent me.
“A mermaid found a swimming lad, picked him for her own
Pressed her body to his body
Laughed; and plunging down
Forgot in cruel happiness, that even lovers drown.”
Two somewhat cautious ideas about love and life. Referring to the post-it, even if it isn’t love we hide behind, perhaps it is our principals, we all have a crutch we use to hid from our life when we are afraid or unsure. And touching on Yeats, it is important to note that love or whatever that thing is we seek can as easily be our fall as our saving grace. I guess both quotes really call for balance. Balance is good and all, but being good and safe, aren’t always the best ways to live. Sometimes things are really up and sometimes situations have me down, but then I put on my rational face and look at things and realize I am fine. Like 95% of the time, if I am being rational and clear-headed my life is fine, my concerns do not really hurt me. I mean it is not a bad thing but it’s not really a good thing either. Maybe it is time to get so lost in something, I drown. Or maybe I shouldn’t. There are no answers just some musings over words.